Welcome to Planet Populism: Where Clowns Rule and You Pay the Ticket

Once upon a time, populists were the oddballs on the fringes of politics, shouting in town squares, hoping someone would take them seriously. Today? They’re mainstream. The planet has become their personal merry-go-round, and we’re all stuck on this poorly maintained amusement park ride through history, screaming without seatbelts.

Look at the lineup: Donald Trump is gearing up for a sequel to his presidential disaster, this time openly demanding that Ukraine pay in rare metals if they want any aid. Nigel Farage, the man who dragged Britain out of the EU and left them scratching their heads over the consequences, is once again waving flags and gearing up for another power grab. Orban and Fico, the Eastern European charmers, peddle a mix of authoritarian kitsch and geopolitical theatrics, while Mile from the Balkans dreams of new borders and historical revisions. And let’s not forget Italy’s very own Mussolini cosplayer, Giorgia Meloni, or that Czech corporate overlord Babiš, who sells himself as a man of the people while drowning in billions.

The pattern is always the same: promise simple solutions to complex problems, find an external and internal enemy, pump the crowd full of stories about ‘national pride’ and ‘sovereignty,’ and, behind the curtain, loot resources and stuff pockets. When the economy inevitably crashes, just blame someone else, migrants, elites, the EU, Soros, the Chinese, or, if all else fails, Martians.

The worst part? People keep falling for the same trick, over and over again. It’s like historical memory now has the lifespan of a TikTok video. Populists aren’t revolutionaries; they’re snake oil salesmen who crawl back onto the market as soon as the crowd forgets their last failure. And by the time we realize we’ve been duped again, it’s already too late, they’re gearing up for the next round of the same old lies.

So, what’s the solution? First, let’s remember that real leaders are those who built, not destroyed, people like Roosevelt, De Gaulle, Gandhi, or Mandela. Second, let’s refocus on real issues: climate change, poverty, technological inequality, and corporate greed. Third, let’s stop falling for cheap tricks and demand accountability instead of a circus. Because if we don’t, the next round of populists will come with even shinier tricks, flashier slogans, and an even bigger bill for the rest of us to pay.

And so, we keep spinning the same movie, just with new protagonists and an even worse script. Isn’t it wonderful to live in an age where history doesn’t repeat as tragedy or farce, but as an endless TikTok loop of stupidity?